to my father

Coming to a realization, that things are not permanent; those thoughts are earth shattering. The things I wish would stay at the age they are now are my parents and my daughter. I wish the current moments were forever.

I have had a lot of people come in and out of my life. I have walked out of the lives of others. No matter what I have done though, my parents have always been there for me. I suppose that’s their job, right. To do everything possible for their child. I see myself now doing the same for my kid.

My parents are no exception. But with it being father’s day weekend, I’ll focus on my dad. I don’t think he’s more exceptional than any other man, but I know he’s the most exceptional man in my life.

I’ve spent a lot of hours commuting to and from work with my dad. A lot of conversations, both pleasant and not. One thing, I always look forward to them. Even though he grew up in a time, when things were a certain way, and only that certain way, he has come along way in opening his mind to the way his kids think.

My parents immigrated to this country when they were in their early twenties. A little younger than the age I am now. I can’t imagine leaving every one you love behind, and risking your life crossing over for a dream. To rely on hope, and let it blindly guide you to where you think your life will be better. I’ve heard stories from my dad many times, and one specifically always gives him chills. It’s true, my parents almost died chasing the mere thought that in this country, their dreams and those of their children will come true.

My dad had 6 kids total, 5 boys and 1 girl. That girl being me. I hate to say that I was his spoiled little girl, but I know it’s true. Even as a grown woman, I am still his little girl & he’s my old man. The old part holding more and more truth nowadays.

I don’t think I ever came to realize that death was an active part of people lives. I thought it was just something that happened to our ancestors. Then one day my grandmother dies, and it hurt for a lot of years. Now, many years later, my grandfather has died, and it hurts too. My dad has had a brother die, and that hurts for a lot of reasons too. Not because we were close, but how close that age to my dad’s. How close?

Before my dad goes, I hope that he learns all the reasons that I love him. Everyday gets a little bit harder, and that man gets just gets that much stronger. I’m beyond grateful for the lessons that he continues to teach me, for the ones I’ve learned well over the years. I hope I can be half the person he dreamed of me to be. I hope that when the day does come, and he’s not longer with us; I hope my daughter remembers him as he is. As things continue to change, in both of our lives. I am so glad, that our relationship can stay the same. I am even more glad, that my little girl gets to experience it too. I hope to have my old man, for many more years. In the meantime, I’ll keep telling him everyday how much I love him. I will thank him everyday, for everything he does. He’s the real reason, I want to go after my dreams; so that his, in some way, come true too.

 

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